Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Cross-Examination

DA: Miss Covington, are you aware that your closet has been inspected by some of our most prestigious investigators?

MC: Yes sir, I am.

DA: Are you also aware that you are a pack rat?

MC: I, uh, well..

DA: Did you know that not only can your closet floor not be seen because of your excessive shoe inventory, but that your entire closet rack is filled with clothes? The entire thing?

MC: Well.. I can explain..

DA: No time for silly explanations made up off of the top of your head, Miss Covington. We have more important matters to attend to. How do you explain the five pairs of flip flops resting in your closet right now?

MC: I, uh, needed a variety!

DA: Unacceptable. And the 2 pairs of Birkenstocks? How long have those been out of style? And why on earth do you have two pairs?

MC: I, uhm, don't wear those anymore..

DA: Then why, Miss Covington, are they still in your closet cluttering up your floor? How do you explain that?

MC: I'm.. Saving them for my sister! Yeah! She'll be able to wear them soon and she loves to wear my shoes!

DA: Bringing your 7-year-old sister in this debate are you?

MC: Its true!

DA: Yeah, yeah. Save it. So enough with your shoe collection. How do you explain having 3 pairs of shorts that look almost exactly the same? Three pairs! What possible use do you have for 3 pairs that look exactly alike?!

MC: I thought they were cute.. And the, uh, laundry takes a while..

DA: So you buy 3 pairs of the exact same shorts so you can wear them while the others are being washed?

MC: Yes sir.

DA: Hmm.. Interesting. And your tank top collection? How do you explain having over 10 tank tops cluttering your closet?

MC: I like to have different colors.. And they're great for summer weather..

DA: Lets see.. This report says that they're all different sizes, Miss Covington. You have 8 mediums, 3 smalls, and.. What's this? An extra small?! Why on earth do you have an extra small Miss Covington?!

MC: I wear different sizes in different brands! Its a different brand than all the others!

DA: You need to clean up your act, Miss Covington, along with your closet.

1 comment:

  1. Haha! Oh this is witty. But you know my closet is just the same.

    ReplyDelete