Numbered List

So I was sitting in CBA with Mr. Alen Richardson discussing what I would blog about. We sat at my computer and talked for quite a few minutes about potential blog posts. We came up with many interesting possibilites (okay, so maybe they were all failures), but as many of you know, Alen is a fan of Chuck Norris. As a result of his influencing my decisions, I was going to list Alen's top reasons why Chuck Norris kills people. But then I started thinking hard about this subject, and deemed it inappropriate (partly because I don't want Chuck Norris to come find me...I know he will!). Instead of listing the top reasons why Chuck Norris kills people, I am going to list the top 10 Chuck Norris jokes of all time! So...enjoy!(:

1. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice.
2. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart is not nearly foolish enough to attack him.
3. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
4. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
5. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
6. There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
7. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
10. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

So those are the top 10 Chuck Norris jokes, at least according to the author of a how-to website.

The DaVinci Code review

Imagine growing up learning one thing, then all of a sudden, you are told the truth, that you were taught a lie, just as generations of people before you were. This is how Sophie Neveu feels. She was taught growing up that Jesus was immortal, a bachelor, and that the Holy Grail was a chalice that Jesus drank from at the Last Supper. But the night that her grandfather, Jacques Sauniere, is murdered, a long chain of events and codes leads Sophie and her new friend Robert Langdon to a shocking secret. Sophie and Langdon find the legendary keystone of the Priory of Sion, which will lead them to the real Holy Grail, the bones of Mary Magdalene, Jesus’ companion. Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code entertained and teased my brain with many codes and riddles.

The setting of The DaVinci Code is in Europe, and changes to many different areas of Europe throughout the story. The story begins in Paris, France, where Jacques Sauniere is murdered inside the Louvre Museum. From then on, the main characters Sophie and Langdon are sent throughout Europe to many popular, historical locations.

The characters of The DaVinci Code are colorful and diverse. Robert Langdon is a Harvard professor from the United States who is in Paris to give a lecture on symbolism. Interestingly enough, Langdon is a symbologist specializing in pagan symbols and the Sacred Feminine. This fact makes him an important asset to the group who seeks the Holy Grail. Sophie Neveu is the granddaughter of Jacques Sauniere and a cryptologist, which also makes her important to the story. Silas is an Opus Dei monk who participates greatly in corpal mortification, a practice of Opus Dei. Silas is an albino, which makes him quite the interesting character. He is working against Sophie and Langdon. There are many other interesting characters throughout the story that come in and out such as Captain Fache, the Teacher, and Sir Leigh Teabing.

I would recommend The DaVinci Code to anyone who enjoys books with codes and riddles and surprising twists scattered throughout the story.

489 pages

Twilight review

Have you ever been so in love with someone that you would do anything for them? Would you give your life up for them? For Bella Swan, this is the first time she’s felt this way and she would give up her life for Edward…literally. Edward is the guy she’s in love with, but there’s one catch to him. Edward and his family have a deep, dark secret that nobody else in the town knows. Edward and his family are vampires. In order for Bella and Edward to be together, Bella risks her life every single day. Edward could lose control and kill her in the blink of an eye. Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight created a love story inside my head that mesmerized me with shocking twists.

The setting of the story Twilight is in a small town in Washington called Forks. In Forks, it’s almost always cloudy and rainy, perfect weather for a vampire to be out and about. Edward and his family need overcast conditions like this in order to blend in with the rest of the town. In the rare occurrence of a sunny day in Forks, Edward, his “siblings”, and his “parents” conveniently miss school and work to go hiking. In this way, the conditions of the northern part of the country are important to the story.

There are many characters in Twilight that make the story interesting. First off, there are the lovers, Bella and Edward. Bella is from Arizona originally, but moves to Forks with her dad because her mom and stepfather are going on the road. Forks is a big adjustment for an Arizona girl. She is somewhat shy, but when she meets Edward, she becomes completely antisocial unless he is involved. Edward is a vampire who has been living with Carlisle and Esme for a while and they have become parents to him. Edward and Bella fall in love and even though Edward is a vampire, they make their relationship work. James and Victoria are two vampires who don’t agree with Edward and his family’s vegetarian ways. James is a tracker and follows Bella’s scent to try and drink her blood. Victoria is James’s girlfriend and aids James in finding Bella. Other characters such as Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett are Edward’s “family” and they try their best to keep Bella safe from James and Victoria.

I would recommend Twilight to anyone who enjoys a good love story with some action and surprises mixed in with the mushy love tale.

498 pages

The Invisible Man Review

"And that invisible man, Kemp, must now establish a reign of terror." said the Invisible Man. The Invisible Man dreams of a reign of terror, a world that he can control. He realizes the many things that can be accomplished by a man who cannot be seen. H. G. Wells's The Invisible Man confused me with the old timey slang and scientific terms.

The theme of the book The Invisible Man is that greed is bad. The Invisible Man shows greed and hatred towards people and is very rude. In one case of this, the Invisible Man demands many things from Mrs. Hall. In another incident, the Invisible Man demands that a homeless man help him with carrying out his plans. He expects many favors from many people, but the people are tired of being forced to perform tasks for an unseen person. The tone of the book ties in well with the theme because the tone also makes the reader feel sorry for the Invisible Man. That is, until the reader hears of the Invisible Man's intentions.

The main character of this story, who is called by many names, is the Invisible Man. He is also known as the Stranger and Griffin. The Invisible Man has an aggressive personality and gets irritated very easily at people who don't cooperate with him. At the beginning of the book, the Invisible Man was irritated with Mrs. Hall because she continually interrupted his work. Though the Invisible Man frequently asked Mrs. Hall to leave him alone and at least knock before coming in his room. But Mrs. Hall refuses, and this angers the Invisible Man. All of the other characters in the story seem to be against the Invisible Man and his evil plot.

The setting of the book is in the late 1800s, which explains the jargon used throughout the story. It takes place in England, and the Invisible Man changes location many times throughout the story. But the story stays in England the entire time.

The story The Invisible Man captivates the reader with many vivid words that tease the imagination with the impossible. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading books with old English jargon.